You are left to wander this shattered life. You can’t help but wonder what’s next.
Here you are, walking alone or feeling isolated. Feeling heartbroken, desperate, and lost. And maybe, like me, you tell yourself to keep going; it’s not that bad.
Other people have had worse, endured more, survived worse. Others have lost everything and everyone. Maybe, like me, you begin to belittle your grief, your pain, your loss.
Perhaps the grief is suffocating, unexpected, and overwhelming. You are left to navigate life without a compass. The silence of loss is deafening.
There’s no handbook for this life of grief. It feels like uncharted waters to you. You are tempted to give up, give in, and isolate. It’s just too hard. And so, so lonely.
But, friend, you are not alone. Some of us are much farther along this grief journey. Our precious loved one left us wandering this life alone so long ago.
We are here to help you navigate this hard and confusing life together. We are here to tell you that you can get through this. We are here to share some tips, tricks, and life hacks if you will, to guide you through the murky waters of loss.
Please allow me to share with you these 5 tips for navigating life after a loved one passes away:
1. Take care of your body.
A well nourished body just handles life better.
Eat the food that people bring you. Drink lots of water. Get outside. Take a walk. Get back to your exercise routine. Take care of your physical health. It’s the foundation for everything else.
Grief often leaves us without an appetite or indulging in all the wrong things for our bodies. A little of this is ok, but don’t stay there.
Take care of your body. Move your body. Get out of the house even if it’s just to a friend’s house, the park, or for a coffee.
Your feet may feel like lead. Will them to move. Put on those sweatpants and get up. You can do it!
2. Feed the mind.
Goodness in, goodness out. Hope in, hope out. Despair in, despair out.
What fills your mind seeps into your heart, your soul, and reflects in your body. Find the things that feed your mind with positivity and hope.
Grief share groups are a great way to find people in similar situations. People who understand, but are not in your circle. Find your safe people.
Read other people’s stories of faith, perseverance, and hope. As you nourish your body with healthy food and exercise, nourish your mind with wholesome words and thoughts.
Journal your emotions. Journal your cries and fears and suffering. Journal words of affirmation, verses of hope, and sayings of truth.
3. Tend your heart.
Write down the beautiful memories and the current blessings. You can do both, and you can have both. You can have joy in this season and miss the last one. You can keep living and grieve the past. You can still love the one who passed and love your life now.
Your heart may be broken. You may feel shattered. But our hearts are resilient and they can be mended. Our hearts will never be fully restored, nothing will be quite the same, but our love can grow to include our new life without forgetting the old one.
4. Fill your soul.
Do what fills your soul.
You can know your life is full of purpose and meaning. Reflecting on the purpose and meaning of your loved one’s life can bring you full circle to what fills your soul.
We all wonder. We all doubt. We all feel lost at times. This is especially true when our world is shaken, when the foundation cracks, when everything we’ve ever known feels broken. But the truth is we are made for more than this life and brokenness.
We have one chance to leave a legacy. Your loved one left one with you. And you have the immense privilege of carrying it on.
So do what fills your soul, brings you hope, points you to the One who will sustain you and honors your loved one’s irreplaceable memory.
5. Pour into others.
Fill yourself up until you’re overflowing, and then pour out to the ones around you.
Self-care is evident in the ones who have enough love left to give. Sometimes, like self-care, we have to push ourselves, force ourselves, and make our bodies move. And that’s ok.
Sometimes caring for others is where we actually will find ourselves again. Just like I told you before, you are not alone. You also need to pass this on.
I was once where you are now. I felt lost, isolated, and constantly wondered, ‘How can I go on without him?’ There were those who came before me, who poured into me. Continue the cycle. Pour into others. Let them know they are not alone.
We’ve held the hands of the dying. Now we hold the hearts of the living.
In the journey of loss, it’s easy to feel adrift. While the pain is unique to every individual, there are beacons of hope and ways to find a semblance of peace. Drawing upon both personal and shared experiences, I offer these ‘5 tips for navigating life after a loved one passes away.’ Embrace them, lean on others, and remember you are never truly alone on your path toward healing.
