What makes losing a pet so difficult?
Maybe it’s knowing they were always there to greet us—a steady presence when life felt anything but. Or perhaps it’s the quirky habits that make us laugh, even when we try not to. I like to believe it’s their unconditional love that can never be fully replaced.
When a pet passes away, their absence isn’t the only thing that endures. It’s also the challenge of navigating that grief—whether we’re experiencing it ourselves or trying to support someone else who is. If you’ve ever felt unsure how to comfort someone who has lost a pet, you’re not alone.
My hope is that one or two of the ideas I’ll share will resonate with you. I’ve included a few reflections from losing our beloved dog Kimbo just over a year ago to offer a more personal perspective along the way.
Give an Expression of Sympathy
When a person’s life draws to a close, it’s common to send flowers, prepare a homemade meal, or drop off baked goods to the surviving family.
There’s no rule or reason why the same acts of kindness can’t be offered when a pet passes away. After all, pets are family too.
I’ll always treasure the gorgeous bouquet of flowers that arrived on my doorstep after we said goodbye to Kimbo. My college girlfriends of more than twenty-five years, spread across different states, each juggling busy lives, had coordinated the delivery, and it meant the world to me.
Make A Phone Call
Sending text to a friend or family member who has lost their cherished companion is sure to be gratefully received. However, taking the time to make a phone call can be even more impactful.
Not to downplay the value of a thoughtful text—we’re all busy, and texting is how we handle much of life these days. We use it to say things like “Running late!” or “Need anything from the store?” It’s quick, convenient, and often our default.
But when someone’s world is forever changed, a phone call may provide solace in a way that words on a screen simply can’t.
I’ll never forget the touching message my brother left. Despite his hectic life with six kids and a demanding job, he took the time to reach out.
Acknowledge the Significance of the Relationship
One of the most supportive things you can do for an aching heart is validate their pain. Pet loss isn’t always recognized the way human loss is, and the bereaved may be experiencing a mix of sadness, emptiness, or even embarrassment for the depth of their hurt.
Reassure them that whatever they’re going through is normal. You might say something simple like, “I know how much you loved them,” or “You gave them such a wonderful life.”
Avoid phrases like, “You can always get another cat,” or “I didn’t think you would take this so hard.” Even if well-intended, these types of remarks can come across as dismissive.
Share a Fond Memory
Those grieving may begin to question the gravity of their sorrow, wondering if they should be “moving on” by now, or worrying that others view their sorrow as excessive.
Sharing a special memory about their pet can be incredibly healing. It reminds them that their loyal, lively, or snuggly friend touched other lives too.
Kimbo loved greeting visitors with a gift—often a toy, sometimes a pillow, occasionally a shoe. My mother is always kind to our pups but isn’t exactly a pet enthusiast. So it surprised me when she tearfully said, “Oh, I’m going to miss Kimbo bringing me a present when I come over.” It was then that I felt understood, knowing that he had touched her heart, too.
Extend an Invitation
A change of pace or scenery can do wonders for a hurting soul. An invitation to go on a short walk, grab a coffee, take a scenic drive will undoubtedly be appreciated.
The goal isn’t necessarily to cheer the person up or distract them from their sadness. Sometimes, just moving, breathing, and being with someone can ease the weight of loss.
I still remember my sister reaching out following Kimbo’s passing. She’d ask me to lunch, tag me along on errands, or suggest a little shopping. Those short outings helped me stay connected to life outside my grief.
Closing Thoughts
I hope these ideas have provided guidance on how to comfort someone who has lost a pet.
Before concluding, I’d like to offer a gentle reminder that heartache can stretch on well past the early days of mourning. I encourage you to check in with the bereaved a few weeks or even months later to see how they are getting along.
And if the person happens to live alone, a little extra time and care can make all the difference. My husband and I had each other to lean on, sometimes reminiscing about Kimbo’s goofy antics, other times talking about the void he left behind.
For someone without that kind of support at home, the burden of grief can feel even more overwhelming. Just being there, even in small ways, can lessen that pain.
